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Lyrics Bottle of Rain: The Bone Smuggler |  Day Off | Everything Matters | Bit My Lip | Clutter at the Table | Gandhi's Lunchbox | Felt | It's Sad Being a Cartoon Character | To Know Why | Who do I Think I am | Broken Eyes | Ravenloft | Dirt Blue Star | A Summer Dream Misc. Songs:  Dirt Blue Star's Third Christmas "The Bone Smuggler" Please don't remind me of myself You're everything I'm not supposed to be Take a look at the world in the mirror Push and shove and hate and love We're crowded in a room of yellow Fuck you I hate you you're gone I can feel a thud under my tires Blossoms of trees pricking everything A funnel of blood and a river of shit Drowning me hates me fucks me kills me There's a boiling in my stomach Of shit that has passed Of shit I can't grasp I pray this won't last Please don't leave me please don't die You left me alone and I fucking hate you Why did you lie to me and sucked down You should not have kept me alive You should have just fucking killed me Master controls puppets and you pulled my This motherfucker wants to hold on to me This motherfucker won't let me be Let me in You never let me in Why won't you let me in We're gonna break you down "Day Off" I came home when the sun was down The flowers had been sleeping awhile My room was dark and cold The thoughts started heating my soul I started wondering what life was like If I hadn't been living so long Maybe I fell asleep really fast I couldn't tell cause you stole my dream I hate you, you kill me, we die away Thanks for pissing it all away I had to kill on my day off it wasn't a pretty sight I had to kill you on my day off or I'd kill myself instead You never take a day off in my head I put my hand up to my face And shuddered my pain away I laid my head on my bed There are no more trips ahead I still don't know where you are That isn't the question here For the first time I felt something soft I just had to take a day off with fear All you fucking punks, walk on by, don't you stare at me Don't you stare "Everything Matters" Moved back in line Yes move back in time Deliver me from faith Han dof God is rape Where is the commitment? Pull trigger is permanent Close the book on life Dream with a sharp knife "Bit My Lip" As I shift through the valley of this coming storm I will meet with a friend and we will sadly mourn The passing of the day that was ripped and torn We smiled at each other while the moon was born I took a step foward then I dreamed again Of a warm summer night that meant more to them Blinded by the sound of a large depression I tried to tell her it wasn't her I hated but him I said I wanted to color you You only hear what you wanna hear and You only see what you wanna see and I'm sick of all the shit you pull I only feel what I wanna feel I saw that a lot of your antennas were long I still can't sleep at night with this buzzing song I can't touch your face and think that I was wrong The ocean still swims in the tide that we're on Flying means nothing unless your running fast You can't look over your shoulder and remember the past Running up your arm it broke with a smash We play dumb through the hatred of the morning crash The mourning crash Bit my lip In digust And you like Hate "Clutter at the Table" Pain crushes you I can reflect on my memories and see when you were so good and liked by me. I can remember your eyes and how graceful they were. And how graceful your body was and how much I grew up. And how much I grew to hate you. You knew I was hanging by my fingernails but you found a new hobby. You found a new hobby and that hobby was worse than killing me. You learned to love kicking me. And oh how you kicked me. And I wonder if you remember what I was really like. And I wonder if you remember what we were really like. And I wonder if you remember what you're really like. Maybe I didn't mean to hurt you Don't you ever think of yourself Guess when, guess who, guess what: I'm dead Can't we just breathe a breath of air And make it all go away And I want to ask myself one thing Why do I wake up crying every fucking night? And where the hell are you? Confusion rushes like a river How can you forget about what we wanted, and how can you forget about the words that killed and maimed you? I wonder how we can forget that night at your table when you told me how you really felt and I made so many promises. Oh so many promises. And if I remember what was said, you made many promises. Oh so many promises. And if I learned one thing through this heart ache it's promises are meant to be broken. And if you weren't so goddamn perfect, you'd realize the most important promise was broken by you. But you'll never believe that because you are the one who moved on. You broke your promise and lied to me and I guess I hate you. I guess I hate you. I guess I hate you. And I don't know what else to do. Do you remember that night when the summer was cold And you were hot with rage but cried cause I had to leave I ask you now, who really left who? I think it was you The sun hurts my eyes Remembering the sun hurts my eyes You stand to the sun's light Your silhouette burns through I can trace the beauty that you possess I will never be close to you I am afraid my life is gone My love is fading away "Gandhi's Lunchbox" (Instrumental) "Felt" You know I had a problem today I woke up today And maybe someday I'll know where you are You know I almost smiled today I didn't cry today And hopefully one day You'll know who you are And there's nothing I felt with you that I regret feeling somday I'll die Hatred left me and I can't see straight I don't know how I felt anything at all I left my life behind with you I left my life behind I thought I felt you coming through I thought I felt you I know you had a problem today You called me up today And you hoped somday You'll know how you are I know you didn't smile today You really cried today And I hope one day You'll hate what you are I felt you go I can't rip you out of my head I felt you in my head Blind Side Fell Down Felt You Slip Gone "It's Sad Being a Cartoon Character" I want you to save me and I need you to hold me I want you to bring me and I need you to love me There's nothing left inside of me and you have no control over me I love watching this part of me and it's sad holding onto me I love watching this side of me, it's sad being a cartoon character I have found it so hard to admit it I watch the fishes swim around my head Sometimes I don't know which way I'm looking It's sad being such a large part of you Maybe that's all I never wanted And maybe that's all I ever needed Angels try to save me and devils try to hold me Angels try to bring me and devils try to leave me Only hatred left inside of me and God has no control over me There's only hatred left surrounding me and God has no power over me I love feeling this part of me and it's wrong holding onto me I love feeling this side of me, it's sad being a cartoon character Where did all the birds go Where did all the daisies go Where did all the water go And where did all my time go "To Know Why" There's nothing left to say We repeat ourselves anyway You turned and walked away I see no reason for me to stay I can't remember why you left I promised I'd be your friend You took my words and ran You left me alone with myself Didn't you ever want to know why I cried? Hey maybe that's all we have People living day to day to night We wake up in a pool of sweat Dreaming we were sleeping again I looked and searched myself And found the hole you dug I almost forgot it was there I almost forgot that I was even here I used to be able to float But now I sink because I'm broke My memories won't swim away There's nothing left for me to say Somebody kill me before I kill myself Somebody hate me before I hate myself Somebody hurt me before I hurt myself Somebody kill me before I kill myself And this frustration is fucking up my head And that's what I said dias I tahw s'taht dnA "Who do I Think I am" When I woke up and you weren't there I cried Slashing through the dark street lights shined Nothing gold can stay polished for long Everything you told me everything was wrong You left your lipstick on the table I washed my hair of all other men You let the sun fall on your feet I made sure I smashed this bottle of rain Sins shatter on the floor Reminding me of home But the idiots still danced Who do I think I am Fuck fuck fuck All bitter and twisted Lying and ransacking Claiming your life as my own Don't want to be happy being what I am You took advantage of me after midnight When I look around I find nothing is right Maybe you fucked yourself all alone again I don't give a shit I'm the best fucking thing a ten What's the matter? Who do you hate? When did you go? Why the long face? What's the excuse? No no no no nothing Each corner a new level of decay Eat sweet pathetic lies Entertain an absence of faith Flared beauty Fuck you, Goddess Bitch Tart Blazing, melting Burning Fantastic paradise Drastic Desperate Ecstacy "Broken Eyes" You can't hide from me, I hold your soul You can't lie to me, I've heard it all before I can't feel my head, you've stolen everything I can't see myself, you've promised me lies What's the use in trying, we all return to nothing Crimson blood flows without thought, you've turned me into fear I can't feel my insides, they've seemed to disappear I now know I'm useless, this is your mighty creation You looking inside yourself and all you saw were lies (fucking lies) You left me to wonder and wander through broken eyes This disease turns you out and crushes your soul My blackest days are the ones Screaming down this hole You know hope is a terrible thing, it holds you and crushes you and keeps you down, and maybe you already knew this for you always hoped I'd be more, and when you grew tired of waiting, you gave up hope and gave me nothing worth sticking around for. My hatred grows strong, there is no light ahead You left me alone, the dark is my only friend There's nothing left to feel, I pray this shit will end I'm a big stupid fuck, I wait patiently for the night Bad times dark times, you handed to me Make time hell time, I'm dead and I see I picked open my scabbed sacrifice You stole everything I hold sacred "Ravenloft" (Instrumental) "Dirt Blue Star" I was dreaming again about high powered toilet paper I talked to my best friend about hoe much we hate Julie Maybe if there wasn't so much to lose in gambling I'd roll the dice If you crawled out of your skin would people tell you where the bus was? Too bad there wasn't a color dirt blue star, I'd paint my room with it I just heard the word 'fucked' twice on the radio, that's bad I would never try to climb a beam of light in fear that someone would shut it off Mailboxes are much easier to destroy if they're on the sidewalk I've never met a blind hemophiliac chainsaw juggler but I know they're out there I like to stand Stand in the isle Isle means alone Alone and wishing I don't really care that Santa is fake but thank God for the Easter Bunny Sometimes a banana is just a banana, I like that saying Don't ever try to poke your eye out with scissors, you might just do it The government's bringing us down; repression, society sucks, blah blah blah If I could decapitate all the alternadorks, I'd video tape it and laugh If Jesus came back the last thing he'd want to see are crucifixes I woke up with a sunburn and started laughing because life is silly I just saw fireworks and I was expecting the house lights to come on when they were finished I was thinking about how much martyrs hurt when you think about them It's kind of funny that I can't hear you We're heading towards the sun in a cricket I ate lunch for you, is there anymore to ask for? Who brought the cool kid trying to sell me his carbonated breakfast Dirt blue star "A Summer Dream" A brown eyed smile from down below Reach up through the darkness too slow A summer dream that came up fast Out of the blue and into the past Oohoh - I'm trying to get back home and Oohoh - I'm trying to not be alone and Oohoh - I'm dragging myself up now and Oohoh - I'm scratching to not disappear The summer falls the nights will crawl Out of the street and into the hall You looked at me from up above Told me the things and gave me a shove There must be something more than this Something I have failed to miss Misc. Songs "Dirt Blue Star's Third Christmas" Snow is falling all around Families gather throughout the town The lights twinkle on the big green tree So lonely wish you were here with me I do know what this day's about Opening gifts and filled with doubt Standing under the mistletoe we pray People are singing all over the world Broken bows and ripped papers Bring delight and disappointment We eat the food and sing some songs It is Christmas time again Sometimes in life all your dreams are lost Slowly taken away stripped at a high cost This is what Christmas is about Kissing people we love the most Everybody drops their worries today All I ask for is that you, you stay (silver bells, silver bells it's Christmas time in the city ring a ling, hear them ring soon it will be Christmas day city sidewalks busy sidewalks dressed in holiday style)